Geekerella Alert

Welcome to the shallow end of my stream of consciousness. I like to think of it as Chex Mix with an extra-large helping of geek. Yeah, I'm a loser.
July 16
The Amazing Shit Box: A truly portable Porta-Potty! Apparently made in the UK, so watch what you ask for, Mr. Feastingonroadkill!
The Amazing Shit Box: A truly portable Porta-Potty! Apparently made in the UK, so watch what you ask for, Mr. Feastingonroadkill!
June 28
Chicago Rocks.
Chicago Rocks.
June 27
marklisanti: The best part: When traffic slows to a crawl, the mouth opens wide, releasing a street team of “alien” tranny hookers* on skateboards to distribute Meet Dave promotional materials to idling motorists. Sure, sometimes the spectacle exacerbates highway congestion, but it’s really raising awareness for Murphy’s latest summer joy-ride. [* Yup, a tranny hooker joke. We “go there” because we’re “not particularly creative.”] [via yourmonkeycalled /ahhhitshayley/emptyage] Wow.

marklisanti:

The best part: When traffic slows to a crawl, the mouth opens wide, releasing a street team of “alien” tranny hookers* on skateboards to distribute Meet Dave promotional materials to idling motorists. Sure, sometimes the spectacle exacerbates highway congestion, but it’s really raising awareness for Murphy’s latest summer joy-ride.

[* Yup, a tranny hooker joke. We “go there” because we’re “not particularly creative.”]

[via yourmonkeycalled /ahhhitshayley/emptyage]


Wow.

+
bagel: New comer (via Light and Life)

bagel:

New comer (via Light and Life)
+
John Oates Seeking a Home for His Mustache Cartoon No, this isn’t a joke. He’s pitching a cartoon. About his mustache. Seducing him back into the world of rock n’ roll and leading him to be stalked by a murderous Tom Selleck. Really?
June 16

Twitter Can Only Lead to Heartache

  • Me: My ex-husband felt the best way to comfort me about the bruises and nosebleed was to suggest maybe it's a problem with my blood.
  • Me: Wow. Re-reading that, it looks like something you'd hear on a rerun of COPS.
+

Big City Adventures I

Background music: Don’t Stop Believing, Journey. (No, this is not a joke. Apparently iTunes’ party shuffle has a sense of humor)

Today I walked to the bus stop after work, only to find a large sign that read: Temporary Reroute. Please board #152 @ Addison/California. Which is, unfortunately, about 1/2 mile from the stop where I was standing. So I thought “I’ll just go to the next one after the construction.” Two more stops down brought me to another sign. This one said Temporary Reroute. Please board #152 at Addison/Elston. “Okay,” I thought. “It won’t kill me to walk another quarter-mile or so. I had about a third of a box of chocolate.” So I walked.

I was literally a block away from the Addison/Elston stop when I felt a ticklin’ in my nose. The toaster at work kind of exploded today, so my sinuses were congested (they freak out at any strong or artificial smell. Hence my tendency to use/buy natural cleaners or those without aroma). I kept sniffling because I didn’t have a tissue handy, but finally decided I was going to have to bite the bullet and wipe my nose on the back of my hand like a sick freak. It’s a good thing I did, too.

Apparently at some point my nose decided to leak blood. Then, when it knew it had my attention, it decided to gush blood. With no other alternative in sight, I ran into White Castle and ran for their bathroom. After bleeding all over their sink and stealing handfuls of toilet paper, I felt guilty enough to buy some food. Only problem being that there’s not bloody much (HAHAHAHAHAHA) I can eat at White Castle. So there I was at the takeout counter with my head back, pinching my nose with my lunchbox around my wrist and ordering a sack of French fries, trying to find my wallet in my bag with my free hand.

When I finally got on my bus, clutching a bag of fries in one hand and my bloody nose/tissues in the other (don’t even ask how I got out my bus pass), I called my ex-husband and asked him how long it’s supposed to take for a bloody nose to stop. He asked if I’d been messing with it, then said he’d call me back. Meanwhile, the old lady on the bus wearing flowered Bermuda shorts and two tank tops over a long-sleeved shirt moved two seats away from me in case I was contagious.

It seems that life in Chicago means the return of my wacky adventures!

June 15
What is it about kitten toes that just make a person involuntarily go AWWWW? (via kasmi-nuko)

What is it about kitten toes that just make a person involuntarily go AWWWW?

(via kasmi-nuko)

+

Oteari

fareastmeetswildwest:

tumbl-me:

Does anyone think wiping one’s ass will be eliminated by technology at some point in the future (a la Demolition Man sea shells) or is it a practice we will eternally have to endure?

Already done. Clearly, by the Japanese.


The Japanese lead the way in toilet technology, combining the post-poo cleaning of one’s ass with the added bonus of drying one’s ass afterward. Say what you will, those warm puffs of air are heaven on your ass in the winter. DON’T YOU JUDGE ME.

June 14
Spicy Spam Kabobs Recipe *gurf*
+
Cat Lady Pride T-Shirt If I do not buy this or someone does not buy it for me, it will be a crime against humanity.
+
*look of alarm* Thank you, K-Mart, for helping teenage sluts everywhere give mixed messages to the guys staring at their asses. Specifically “please look at the firm, round cheeks of my ass clutching at this thin cotton material and know that I’m totally not going to let you touch them until you give DeBeers its pound of flesh.” It is no wonder I am almost thirty and have already been divorced.

*look of alarm*

Thank you, K-Mart, for helping teenage sluts everywhere give mixed messages to the guys staring at their asses. Specifically “please look at the firm, round cheeks of my ass clutching at this thin cotton material and know that I’m totally not going to let you touch them until you give DeBeers its pound of flesh.”

It is no wonder I am almost thirty and have already been divorced.

+
The sad-ass corner of the one room of my apartment where I am currently living that I call my “office.” For now. You just wait until I get my desk and power strip. I have a real office two doors down, it’s just not furnished yet. Like the rest of my apartment…
The sad-ass corner of the one room of my apartment where I am currently living that I call my “office.” For now. You just wait until I get my desk and power strip. I have a real office two doors down, it’s just not furnished yet. Like the rest of my apartment…
+
“ And love, just like blood, will always stain. Tilly and the Wall, Fell Down the Stairs
+
Gentlemen’s Alliance+ vol 6: Tanemura Arina has this habit of writing series where I read the first volume or couple of chapters and go “eh. It’s cute and all but…” then later fall in love with it and read it until the binding dies. Gentlemen’s Alliance+ (aka Shinkuro, short for Shinshi Doumei CROSS) is the first one of hers that hooked me from the beginning and consistently surprises me with funny plot twists. For example, volume 6’s revelation about the Postman totally caught me off guard and I loved it. Plus there’s an angry mini-sheep involved. What further recommendation could a person need?

Gentlemen’s Alliance+ vol 6:

Tanemura Arina has this habit of writing series where I read the first volume or couple of chapters and go “eh. It’s cute and all but…” then later fall in love with it and read it until the binding dies. Gentlemen’s Alliance+ (aka Shinkuro, short for Shinshi Doumei CROSS) is the first one of hers that hooked me from the beginning and consistently surprises me with funny plot twists. For example, volume 6’s revelation about the Postman totally caught me off guard and I loved it. Plus there’s an angry mini-sheep involved. What further recommendation could a person need?